I am a crier. I have watched the Kristen Bell sloth interview at least 10 times and have never heard it said better than, “If I am not between a 3 and a 7 on the emotional scale, I’m crying.” Happy, sad, moved, excited or scared, if the emotion is strong I am crying. Since the age of about 14 I have cried everytime a mother held her new baby in any show or movie I ever watched or birth story I read. EVERY.TIME. That magical, blissful moment when all the exhaustian and pain melted away in the eyes of her child was so beautiful. And then I had Emma Grace. I had all of the pain and none of the magic, and for the last 2 years and 5 months those scenes and stories have caused me to cringe, be angry or go numb. They have not made me cry. Until today.
Today I ended up on the blog of someone I have never met or even read before. I read her birth story for her second child, saw the pictures of the tiny new born and tired mama and I wiped a tear from my eye. I longed to hold my baby girl. I may not get that magic moment. I may be back to cringing in a day, or week, or more (PLEASE DONT BE MORE), but for the first time in forever I am excited to hold my brand new baby girl.