Running Out of Time

Recently someone told me a story about the birthing class she attended when pregnant.  The nurse told them that some of the women in class would end up with a c-section, but she didn’t want them to feel like a failure when that happened.  The nurse pointed out that when each woman found out she was pregnant, she was excited to hold her baby.  The newly excited pregnant women did not say, “Oh, I am so excited for a vaginal delivery.”  I laughed and thought it was a cute story, but in the last few days the Lord has really replayed this in my heart.  

I am 41 weeks and 5 days pregnant, so this morning I was checked and have still made  NO PROGRESS.  If baby girl has not started her journey by late tomorrow afternoon I will check in, have a gel put in to make me ready for induction and stay the night in the hospital before being put on pitocin in the morning.  This plan is not what I want.  I want baby girl to come on her own.  I don’t want extra things introduced into my body.  I don’t want the higher risk of c-section and other unwanted things that come with induction, however small those chances may still be.  I know many people who have had successful and peaceful inductions, but it is not ideal.  I am frustrated.  I am scared.  I don’t know why my baby girls (because this is not our first time in this position) seem to not have any interest in leaving my body, ever.  Emma Grace came after the gel insertion, which was a huge answer to prayer.  It also may be why I completely missed early labor and why she came so fast that I tore every which way.  However, Shane and I did not celebrate over upcoming spontaneous labor.  We do not talk to Emma Grace about how baby sissy is going to come all on her own and we can’t wait.  We are looking forward to our baby girl, not her perfect entrance.  When it comes to baby girl, we have already been so blessed.

God has blessed this pregnancy in many ways.  He has given me a doctor that I trust completely and has been open to me going a full two weeks past my due date.  He has given me a baby who seems to still be thriving in my womb despite being so far past her due date.  He has given us extra family time, sleep and time to prepare.  We are blown away by the goodness He has shown us during this pregnancy.  It is that same God that has a perfect labor plan for us, whether I think it is perfect or not. 

We believe that God is good whether I start spontaneous labor in the next 24 hours, or we have more go wrong than we could ever imagine in the next 2 days.  It is not things going as we planned that is the symbol of God’s goodness.  It is His son, His sacrifice, and our place in Heaven that is goodness.  We also believe that God can and does do beautiful and amazing things in our lives.  So we will continue to pray for spontaneous labor and a very healthy baby girl.  We ask that you pray for those things as well.  We know that God can do those things, but we trust that He is in this process even if it doesn’t go as we hope.

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